let there be Light
by TakeneNe
Summary: Kira wakes up with a memory and mad laughter dying on his lips and promptly brings world to its knees. Only then he wakes up again. Time loop.


**A/N:** Disclaimer - I do not own Death Note in any capacity.

For proper formatting go read on ao3/works/21110069

* * *

**let there be Light**

He wakes up.

Maniacal laughter from minutes ago still ringing in his ears like feral bells, bones aching and blood filling his throat with sickening pace. World spins madly before his eyes as his first victim drops dead live on TV and Kira _knows._

This is it.

He's_ won._

Nothing can stop him now.

* * *

He wakes up.

Blind fury at his own impossible _stupidity_ bursts through his mind like hurricane and both hands clenched tight enough to draw blood, Kira swears to one and only God he's ever believed in that he will be bettered by selfish sentiment no more. Not ever again.

If cutting out all obstacles is what it takes to finally succeed, he will not hesitate.

Every single one of his enemies, present and future, drops dead within minutes, spreading message of justice all around this Earth. Old and young, bad and worse, all righteous sacrifice to new order this world is yet to see.

There are no screams from downstairs to disrupt his haze when it is all done, for there are no other souls in his house anymore. Kira cannot let himself be weighted down by _blood_ this time around.

He doesn't cry when he walks out his childhood home to build new, perfect world.

* * *

He wakes up.

Chills of complacency run down his spine like tongues of ominous curse uttered long ago and spiteful glee he's brimmed with feels almost tangible. There is nothing sweeter than fresh memories of triumph finally ringing true and—

Taste of absolute power twists bitter in his mouth but Kira is above such things as unfulfillment.

* * *

He wakes up.

World is grateful for his rule even if it's crashing one.

* * *

He wakes up.

No one can question Kira and keep their life. They stopped trying about two years in anyway.

But should he question_ himself?_

* * *

He wakes up.

He plays his game, but without any real challenges victory feels disappointingly unearned.

He knows better than to stop, though. Serving justice isn't just some offhand hobby he can abandon without second thought. It's duty he's sworn to fulfil eagerly whether it's compelling or not.

_(Deep down he realizes dedication to his goal can keep him afloat only for so long, but Kira isn't anything if not persistent.)_

* * *

He wakes up.

Deciding to play long game this time, purging societal scum slowly from secure shadows of his own room, Kira watches world of justice snap into place piece by piece, with no one mindful enough to try and stop him.

There is no Kira to be worshipped worldwide this time around but playing chessmaster is only better for a time.

* * *

He wakes up.

Memories of perfect world with Kira as its sole God fade from his mind, overshadowed by sheer force of weariness he's never thought possible.

Never thought playing games with no worthy opponents would make his prize meaningless.

He should've known better.

* * *

He wakes up.

Killing Misa is what he does first this time, had been doing almost from the start. Figured by some twist of fate she'll always end up involved in Kira's affairs, _become _Kira herself. He holds no ill will towards her or her poorly orchestrated schemes but pushing world onto right tracks is so much easier when she isn't around.

* * *

He wakes up.

He doesn't last long this time around.

Madness creeping up his mind since he first stained his soul with murder so long ago eats at him faster than ever before and Kira drowns in memories of what was and what could've been.

His hand doesn't shake when one last stroke of _Yagami Light_ blooms on his Death Note's page.

* * *

He wakes up.

First thing he does is report himself to authorities. He doesn't expect to be dealt with publicly and he's right. He doesn't expect **L** to take interest in single, _solved_ murder case and he's never been more happy to be wrong. He doesn't know how news about his _achievement_ reach world's best detective, but apparently otherworldly criminal powers are enough to catch his attention for good.

Lifetime in prison gives him time to rethink his future redos' scenarios, to _breath freely_ first time in forever, and Kira catches himself wondering if playing God is only way to bring change.

Weekly conversations with Ryuuzaki never fail to keep him on his toes.

* * *

He wakes up.

He always tries to find **L** first now. It's frustrating to pretend world's most gifted detective is unsolved mystery to him when he can read that ridiculous, _brilliant_ man better than anyone else, but it's okay. Kira has endless patience and unlimited time.

* * *

He wakes up.

He doesn't kill anyone this time around. It doesn't matter anyway.

* * *

He wakes up.

He wakes up and he's tired, so very tired. He can't count how many times he's done this already, always thrown back to his first murder at end of each loop.

He wishes with everything he has he's never picked up that blasted Note at all.

* * *

He wakes up.

Wedding bells chime through pouring rain when he kisses **L** on rooftop's edge. It's mockery of that first lifetime **L** cannot remember, he knows. It's mockery of principles he's lost and blood he's spilled and he can't bring himself to care even one bit.

Wet, black strands of hair tangle in his hands and he's not sure anymore if it's rain or tears dancing down his face. He doesn't want to let go.

He knows he'll have to, soon.

Too soon.

* * *

He wakes up.

Detective's job brings him more joy than he could've anticipated and being L _with **L** _by his side is nothing but thrilling.

He's in love.

* * *

He wakes up.

He feels ageless and heavy, no longer knowing who was he supposed to be. Saviour? Murderer? Prosecutor or executioner? Maybe just another tortured soul.

There is one thing he knows, though. He has clear goal, unshakeable destination. One person waiting out for him in this strange, wide world, only one capable of keeping him grounded still as years and lifetimes go by.

* * *

He wakes up.

He wakes up.

He wakes up.

He wakes up.

He wakes up.

He wakes up.

.

.

.

.

.

_ "The human who uses the notebook can neither go to Heaven nor Hell."_

Light closes his eyes with smile flickering in corners of his mouth, hand held firmly between those of his only love. Wet droplets mark soft blue of **L**'s well worn jeans and only noise around is slowing, digitalized sound of his dying heart.

_Pik-pik. Pik-pik. Pik-pik. _

_Pik. Pik._

_Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiik._

_"The human who uses the notebook can neither go to Heaven nor Hell."_

_Death Note rules once set into motion are fixed.  
But those who embraced Hell and found Heaven amidst it nonetheless, can sometimes  
break the circle. _

He doesn't wake up.

* * *

**A/N:**

IMPORTANT: I didn't want to put it up top to not, ah, _spoil the convention_, but this fic _is_ inspired by **LadyKG's Unto The Breach** (at ao3/works/6064288), so if you're into Naruto, go check that out, it's awesome.

Also I'm thirsty for Death Note's fics in 2k19 and there aren't nearly enough that suit my tastes *depressed fangirl noises*

**stalk me on tumblr at _takenene_**


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